1 What is a KISS?
It's an upper PREPARATION for a lower INVASION that will lead to further PENETRATION with fast ACCELERATION that will build next GENERATION.
2 Latest Statistics:
What men do after sex?
§ 2% eat.
§ 3% smoke cigarettes.
§ 4% take shower.
§ 5% go to sleep..
§ 86% get up and go back home to their wives.
3 Why is your dick better than a credit card?
§ Once spent recharges itself.
§ It is accepted worldwide.
§ You can let your wife use it as much as she wants.
4 LITTLE GIRL:
Mommy, I just found out that our neighbour's son has a penis like a peanut!
MUM: You mean it's small?
LITTLE GIRL: No it's salty!!!
5 A couplerecently married was happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing.
6 A man was carrying 3 babies in a train.
The lady sitting next to him asked: Are they your babies?
MAN: No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer COMPLAINTS.
7 Women top 5 lies:
§ I am a virgin.
§ It is so big.
§ I can't do that to my best friend.
§ I won't gain weight after marriage
§ I am coming! I am coming!
8 A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says:
You want to play magic.
She says: What is that?
He says: We go home, screw, and then you disappear.
9 What is the closest thing to a woman's period?
Your SALARY... It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days, and if it doesn't come, you are F*CKED!!!
10 Teacher asked:
Which part of the body goes to heaven first?
A Kid replied : The legs... because every night I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING".
11 Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school?
Pupil: Because I heard my sister's boyfriend say "TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY".
12 What's the difference between a panty and a stage curtain??
Answer: When you pull down the stage curtain, show is over, but when you pull down the PANTY.... IT'S SHOWTIME.
13 AGES OF VAGINA:
§ -16 TO 19 BRAND NEW
§ -20 TO 28 SLIGHTLY USED
§ -29 TO 36 SECOND HAND
§ -37 TO 45 SUBJECT TO REPAIR
§ -46 TO 55 FOR LUBRICATION
§ -56 TO 60 TOTAL WRECK
§ -61 TO 70 CLOSED FOR RENOVATION!!
Didn't I tell you if stranger touches your breast say "DON'T". And if he touches your pussy say STOP!
GIRL : But mum, he touched both, so I told him DON'T STOP!!!!
15 GIRLS REACTION TO PENIS SIZES
§ 9 INCHES - Oh Shit, pain!!
§ 7 INCHES - Oh, I'm in heaven
§ 6 INCHES - OH PERFECT
§ 5 INCHES - UMMMM OK
§ 4 INCHES - PUSH MORE
§ 3 INCHES - IS IT IN???
§ 2 INCHES - IDIOT!! JUST USE YOUR TONGUE
via Sharifah Khatijah