kheru2006 (kheru2006) wrote,
kheru2006
kheru2006

In good times, in tough times

IT’S been quite a while since I attended a church wedding where the traditional Here Comes The Bride (Bridal Chorus from Wagner’s Lohengrin) is played.

Today, more contemporary songs are the order of the day. And at the wedding dinner, you will probably be even more surprised at the selection of music that the happy couple, and their wedding planners, can come up with.

In contrast, there is still a very strong traditional spirit to the Malay weddings, especially those that are held in community halls or at the houses themselves, where the bride and the groom can be the prince and princess for the day.

My good neighbour, Pak Yusof, is very popular when it comes to being the emcee at these weddings with his running commentary as guests make their entry. Every VIP and every ordinary person is welcomed by name.

Weddings can be simple or expensive, but however memorable that day may turn out to be, we have to acknowledge that it is just one day. The marriage, however, is a different story altogether.

I am at an age where I am attending weddings of my friend’s children, and if they care to listen to me, this Uncle will invariably tell them – the wedding is just a day, the marriage is forever.

On Tuesday, I will be attending a ceremony where two dear friends are renewing their wedding vows to mark their 50 years together. It will not only be nostalgic but a wonderful reflection of how this loving couple who came together as one grew together as one.

There is another reason I want to be there. It was also at the same sanctuary, 29 years ago today, that my wife and I declared our marriage vows.

In this current world of easy divorces, broken relationships and same-sex marriages, some may wonder if the original institution of marriage that brings a man and a woman together can really withstand the test of time.

What then is the secret to a long and fulfilling marriage that only ends with that final line in the vows that Christian couples make – till death do us part?

It is a question that cannot be easily answered because every relationship is unique. Bringing two different people – and probably also two families – together is a challenge in itself.

But when I look again at the marriage vows my wife and I took, I am reminded that it is indeed about staying together “for better, for worse”, “for richer, for poorer”, “in sickness and in health” and “to love and to cherish, till death do us part”.

Today, I celebrate 29 years of being married to a woman I have known for 30 years.

Half of this time, she has been alongside me in my battles with cancer (sickness) and for a good number of years with me as a househusband drawing little or no income (poorer).

On the flipside, in happy times, in times of good health, and in times of plenty, we have never taken our love for granted.

Only when we can love in good times will we able to love in tough times.

Now that is one lesson about marriage I love to pass on to all who intend to tie the knot one day. Soo Ewe Jin The STAR Home News Opinion Columnist Sunday Starter 7 Jun 2015

Tags: marriage
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