Get to know who are the Narcissists and Gaslighters around your workplace
No two people are exactly alike, but people do they do share traits - and those traits aren't always positive. Some prefer drama or negative attention.
They are everywhere, including the workplace. They might be on your team or sit in a nearby cubicle. It could be your boss, or a coworker.
They're combative, critical or nonproductive.
Narcissists are someone who is grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration. They mostly are arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding.
Gaslighting is a form of persistent manipulation and brainwashing that causes the victim to doubt her or himself, and to ultimately lose one’s own sense of perception, identity, and self-worth.
A gaslighter’s statements and accusations are often based on deliberate falsehoods and calculated marginalization.
The term gaslighting is derived from the 1944 film Gaslight, where a husband tries to convince his wife that she’s insane by causing her to question herself and her reality.
Chronic narcissists and gaslighters are likely to exhibit at least several of the following on a regular basis.
Both narcissists and gaslighters are prone to frequent lies and exaggerations (about themselves and others), and have the tendency of lifting themselves up by putting others down.
Both narcissists and gaslighters can be adept at distortion of facts, deliberate falsehoods, character assassinations, and negative coercions.
One key difference is that while the narcissist lies and exaggerates to boost their fragile self-worth, the gaslighter does so to augment their domination and control.
Both rarely admit flaws and are highly aggressive when criticized.
Both narcissists and gaslighters tend to project false, idealized images of themselves to the world, in order to hide their inner insecurities.
Many narcissists like to impress others by making they look good externally.
Gaslighters, on the other hand, often create an idealized self-image of being the dominant, suppressive alpha male or female in personal relationships, at the workplace, or in high-profile positions of society (such as politics and media).
In essence, narcissists want others to worship them, while gaslighters want others to submit to them. In a big way, these external facades become pivotal parts of their false identities, replacing the real and insecure self.
Many narcissists and gaslighters enjoy getting away with violating rules and social norms.
Many narcissists and gaslighters take pride in their destructive behaviors, as their machinations provide them with a hollow (and desperate) sense of superiority and privilege.
Although narcissists and gaslighters can be (but are not always) physically abusive, for the majority of their victims, emotional suffering is where the damage is most painfully felt.
Both narcissists and gaslighters enjoy spreading and arousing negative emotions in order to feel powerful, and keep you insecure and off-balance.
As mentioned earlier, they are sensitive to criticism, but quick to judge others. By keeping you down and making you feel inferior, they boost their fragile ego, and feel more reassured about themselves.
Both narcissists and gaslighters have a tendency to make decisions for others to suit their own agenda.
Narcissists are also fond of using guilt, blame, and victimhood as manipulative devices.
Gaslighters conduct psychological manipulation toward individuals and groups through persistent distortion of the truth, with the intention of causing their victims to question themselves and feel less confident.
Perhaps the biggest distinction between narcissists and gaslighters is that narcissists use and exploit, and gaslighters dominate and control.
They become “special” and “superior” by being less human and by de-humanizing others.
In the worst-case scenario, some individuals possess traits of both narcissism and gaslighting.
This is a highly toxic and destructive combination of vanity, manipulation, bullying, and abuse — all unleashed in order to compensate for the perpetrator’s deep-seated sense of inadequacy and fear.
“Some people try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others.” —Paramahansa Yogananda
Azizi Ahmad is a senior educator Wed, May 15, 8:29 PM