Be a listener, less talking

I came across an article on being a listener and find it difficult to absorb. As an educator, I may be wrong as we are supposed to talk and deliver or maybe the new 21st century skill wants students to do more.

But then, try asking yourself on how much talking and listening you do on an average day?

As educator, how much real listening and focus do you put up on your student saying and accepting them. Backwards, do you automatically put up response for them?

Truly speaking, I don’t think we put enough listening to what others are saying.

Most people tend to treat conversation like a sport. The person who talks the most, clever enough to persuade others of an opinion, or even speaks the longest and loudest is the champ.

We frequently discover ourselves hindering, speechifying, demanding, and coming up with witticisms, all to back our point to see or show our prevalent information.

In everyday life, it can be seen that, the person who speaks least benefits most and the person who speaks most benefits least. 

The true facts about this is that, the person who talks is providing information more than he/she tends to give. The person who is putting his/her ears is getting the information thus the best deal will be by the later, as knowledge is power.

Good or bad news are commonly shared, thus the less you share, the more you wish that you hadn’t share. It’s good that you don’t reveal anything that you may later regret.

Bear in mind, should you not share anything today, it may be shared later, and once shared you can never take it back.

We should also not be silent all the time. I admire what Abraham Lincoln said, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

No harm to be seen as less intelligent, just be careful not to speak thoughtlessly, with insufficient information, or out of a wrong assumption. It may help you not to say anything dumb.

Once in a while, you may have heard someone telling a story you knew or you think you had been to a place before.  It happens all the time, and we wind up using the same limited experiences and information.

Fresh information gives impact to the new listener, thus save up your material at the right moment so that they get the most.

Though it may be true for most of the time, some people want others to hear them talk. So there are times we should listen rather than talking, as we giving something valuable to the person who's speaking.

This will make the ‘speaker’ feel appreciated and established a bond and a powerful relationship-building tool.

As someone who's doing talking every day in the classroom, many educators will feel strange if not saying anything.

It may be good at times to use this tactics, as very often, the other person will jump in to fill the silence with further information, sometimes something he or she had not planned to share. 

You may or may not want to use this manipulative tactic on purpose. But it's almost always true that the less you say, the more information the person you're speaking with will share.

Now, which do you prefer to listen, someone who never shuts up, or someone who only speaks once in a while?

One thing for sure , the law of supply and demand holds true: If you constantly share your opinions, no one will seek them out. If you only say what you're thinking on occasion, or only make a point one time instead of over and over, your words are likely to have more weight.

Though you need to keep your opinions to yourself, there are still people around you who wants to know what you're thinking, especially when you are a resourceful person.

But if spending more time listening is better than you do the speaking, and the people the people you're speaking to feel understood and bonded with you, when you do speak your mind, they'll be listening much more closely. When you do speak, people will listen.

Azizi Ahmad is a senior educator Fri, Jun 28, 12:47 PM

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