March 17th, 2009

Nerds and Jerks ` A Good Read


One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. 

I thought to myself,
'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.'

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him 

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eyes.

As I handed him his glasses, I said,
'Those guys are jerks. They really should get live sentences." 

He looked at me and said,
'Hey thanks!' There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. 

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books
 
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends and he said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. 

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said,
'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!"

He just laughed and handed me half the books. 

 

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. 

I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak 

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!


Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said,
'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' 

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 
'Thanks,' he said. 

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began 
'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach, but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.'


I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. 

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 
'Thankfully, I was saved.My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' 

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. 

 

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. 

 
You now have two choices, you can:  
1) Pass this on to your friends or 
2) Delete it and act like it didn't touch your heart. 
 
As you can see, I took choice number 1. 'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.' 

There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. 

Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.     

 

"Ahmad Fuad Ahmad" <fuad9_99@yahoo.com>

How The Fight Started


Case 1

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
 
And that's when the fight started....

Case 2
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
 
 
Case 3
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And that's when the fight started....
 

Case 4 
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy shit!! That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed, scared and naked, and jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And that's when the fight started....
 

Case 5 
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started....


Case 6
A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's when the fight started....


Case 7
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started....

 

 

Case 8 
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And that's when the fight started....


Case 9
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.'

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. 

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And that's when the fight started....

 

Case 10 
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started....

 
 
Case 11
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And that's when the fight started....
 

Case 12
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And that's when the fight started....

 

contributed by : "Narimah On"   narimah2008@yahoo.com Via "Ahmad Fuad Ahmad" <fuad9_99@yahoo.com>

Pick up your Jokes

These get better each time ... 

 Pak Lah, Najib and Samy V were patrolling in a helicopter

Samy: "if I drop a piece of RM1000 note from here, the person that picks it up must be very happy"  


Najib:"if I throw two pieces of RM500notes down, it will make 2 person happy"
 
Pak Lah:"if I drop TEN pieces of RM100notes, there will be 10 happy people"
 
The pilot murmuring to himself:"why don't all of you just jump down from here, that makes 25 million people happy"


Samy V wish to enhance his reputation by publishing a series of stamps with his portraits
1 month after the launch, Samy surveys its sales  Post Office Chief:::"not bad... but quite number of complaints that the glue is not strong enough"
 
Samy:  :"really...? "


He spits at the back of the stamp and sticks the stamp on an envelope "the glue is ok"


Post Office Chief::  "but... every one spits on the face of the stamp ...."

 

Midnight, Najib went for supper and bumped into a robber

Robber: "give me all your money!!"

Najib was very angry:"I am the honorable Deputy Prime  Minister! " Better behave yourself"

Robber:: " well, then ... return all my money"

 
 
One fine day, PM and parliament members were on the way to a meeting where they all crashed into an accident and being rushed to the hospital.

The reporters were at the hospital, the  doctor shook his head "we have done our best to rescue the PM but ..."                   


Reporters:"How about Najib?"

Doctor:"we were unable to rescue him either ..."

Reporters:"who have you saved?"

The doctor was excited:" Malaysia is saved now"

 
Samy V visited the psychiatric hospital. All the patients hurray for him but there is one patient who ignored Samy

Samy:"why does he not welcome me?"

Doc: "He is normal today (not insane)



Election campaign time -- accident

A farmer saw and rushed to the scene but all the passengers were dead. He buried all the passengers (politicians) .

Few days later, the police in charge found the farmer and asked where all the politicians were, "Have they all died?"

Farmer:" hmmm, Samy was screaming that he is still alive when I buried him"


Police" why you buried him anyway?"

Farmer"because Samy never tells the truth"

 

"sh_khatijah@yahoo.com" <sh_khatijah@yahoo.com>

 

*Another TEN tips for 2009 *


*
1) Do not get into trouble. *

*

2.)        Aim for greater heights. *

*

3)        Stay focused on your job. *

*

4)        Exercise to maintain good health *

*

5)        Practice Team work, *

*


6)        Rely on your trusted partner/friends to watch your back. *

*

7)        Be safe on rainy days. *

*

8)        Rest, relax & find time to read those e-mails that i sent U.  *

*
*
*
9)        Always smile when your boss is around. *


*

10)        Remember nothing is impossible. *


"rodzi@um.edu.my" <rodzi@um.edu.my>

Why Employees Leave Organizations

 


WHY EMPLOYEES LEAVE ORGANISATIONS ?

- Azim Premji, CEO- Wipro



Every company faces the problem of people leaving the company for better pay or profile.

Early this year, Mark, a
senior software designer, got an offer from a prestigious international firm to work in its India operations developing specialized software. He was thrilled by the offer.

He had heard a lot about the CEO. The salary was great. The company had all the right systems in place employee-friendly human resources (HR) policies, a spanking new office, and the very best technology, even a canteen that served superb food.

Twice Mark was sent abroad for training. "My learning curve is the sharpest it's ever been," he said soon after he joined.

Last week, less than eight months after he joined, Mark walked out of the job.

Why did this talented employee leave ?


Arun quit for the same reason that drives many good people away.

The answer lies in one of the largest studies undertaken by the Gallup Organization. The study surveyed over a million employees and 80,000 managers and was published in a book called "First Break All The Rules". It came up with this surprising finding:


If you're losing good people, look to their immediate boss. Immediate boss is the reason people stay and thrive in an organization. And he 's the reason why people leave. When people leave they take knowledge,experience and contacts with them, straight to the competition.

"People leave managers not companies," write the authors Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman.

Mostly manager drives people away?

HR experts say that of all the abuses, employees find humiliation the most intolerable. The first time, an employee may not leave,but a thought has been planted. The second time, that thought gets strengthened. The third time, he looks for another job.

When people cannot retort openly in anger, they do so by passive aggression. By digging their heels in and slowing down. By doing only what they are told to do and no more. By omitting to give the boss crucial information. Dev says: "If you work for a jerk, you basically want to get him into trouble. You don 't have your heart and soul in the job."

Different managers can stress out employees in different ways - by being too controlling, too suspicious,too pushy, too critical, but they forget that workers are not
fixed assets, they are free agents. When this goes on too long, an employee will quit - often over a trivial issue.

Talented men leave. Dead wood doesn't. (true in school and education sector)

"
Jack Welch of GE once said. A company's value lies "between the ears of its employees".

 

"Ahmad Fuad Ahmad" <fuad9_99@yahoo.com>

 

Must Read!: Torchlights (Stungun) Beware (to all drivers)

 Hi There,

FOR YOUR INFORMATION, latest weapon used by criminals.

 

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE, YOU MUST GIVE YOURSELF AT LEAST 3 MINUTES TO READ THIS!

I just thought to let know what my doctor told me recently. I don't think she was lying and neither am I, so please pass this on to your friends. Her clinic is in SS2 
(in West Malaysia) and you know how congested that place is.

One morning a few months ago in broad daylight, a girl was getting into her car when a few men approached her with what looked like a  torchlight. Quite harmless looking. They pressed the "torchlight" into her back and immediately she went limp and very pale. So she wouldn't be able to fight back, they slashed her thigh with a parang and sped away in her car.

There were many people around and they quickly took her to the  nearest clinic which was my doctor's clinic. There were two doctors at that time and they managed to stitch up her wound but the girl remained pulse-less and still pale as paper. No pulse, no BP (blood pressure). Just like dead.

My doctors were confused as to how one wound on the thigh made the girl almost like dead? They managed to revive her and save her life.

After some checking around, the doctors found  out what actually happened was that the girl was made unconscious not by a torchlight but actually a high voltage weapon. I forgot how many watts she mentioned. 1000? Anyway, it was high enough to kill a person by electrocution. 

It seems this weapon is from China. It's not rampant yet in Malaysia, but with this thing, a person can rob, rape, kill, kidnap, and practically do anything to you. My doctor said that if the girl wasn't taken to the clinic immediately she would have died because there was no pulse on her.

 

So, please just be aware of your surroundings, if anybody is lurking around with a torchlight-thing and approaches you, just scream or run away. Better to be embarrased than ZAPPED and fried, right? Take care.

 

 


This item is called "stungun".

 

"lee shing chien" <chien_leeshing@yahoo.com>

 

Green Bean Soy Drink (Made in China)


Salam semua. Kali ini saya nak sentuh ttg minuman ringan keluaran Yeo Hiap Seng, jenama salah satu pembekal minuman ringan yg tak asing lagi di rantau ini khususnya Singapura dan Malaysia .

Pernahkah anda dengar ttg keluaran produk minuman YHS yg terkini, khususnya minuman kacang soya fusion dgn kacang hijau? Jika anda di Singapura, harap2 baca dulu ya, bahan-bahan yg terkandung dalam minuman ini.
 

Semasa saya ke salah sebuah pasaraya tempatan, terpandang saya ke arah minuman ini yg saya fikir adalah salah satu lagi keluaran terbaru YHS. Iyerlah, apalah bahan yg nak dibubuh dlm minumankan? So I pick up one and brought to office. Tapi, bila saya baca ingredientsnya......

Cuba lihat kat pic ini.

 




  Cuba lihat dekat-dekat......

Apa kejadah ni? Dah takde lagi ke sumber yg baik, yg murni, darimana pihak pengeluar nak dapatkan bahan atau sumber utk membuat produk minuman mereka???? Tidakkah mereka peka dgn pengguna2 Islam yg sememangnya ramai telah terbiasa dgn minuman yg mereka bekalkan atas jenama YHS???


Belek punya belek.....hah, patutlah. Minuman ni diperbuat di....... di negara yg dah mmg tersohor bubuh melamine dalam susu!!



  Apapun, saya sekedar berkongsi info dan diharap sesiapa yg teringin nak merasa minuman jenama YHS "Green Bean Soy Drink", lupakan sajalah niat anda tu. Tak berbaloi bahan yg haram jika memasuki dlm tubuh badan kita ni! Harap dapat sebarkan info ini terutama sekali kpd anak-anak kita yg mungkin kurang arif ttg perkara ini.

 

"Malia Mam" <maliabust@yahoo.com>

Why Teachers Are So Stressed (Resend)


When in School we always wondered why teachers always seemed so mad
Now we know the reason….coz they are so stressed out by kids  Why ??????? Read below the essays to know Interesting answer..given by children to make teachers world upside down :-P

             
           

Want more?....... ......... ... Check out these Mathematics geniuses…

The 3rd one's my favorite…..


     
 
"Ahmad Fuad Ahmad" fuad9_99@yahoo.com



               
 




 

 

Friendships

 



My Mom always told me that we could never measure our wealth by money but by our friends. She would surely be glad to meet you and know how rich I turned out to be!
Tiny but wonderful seeds of blessings are sprinkled on earth each day...and I just caught one that's so nice and true.. And it's you!




I may have forgotten to say that I care. I may have failed to open up and share, but though no words have been spoken, my promise of friendship won't be broken .



Time and distance are important between friends. When a friend is in your heart, they remain there forever. I may be busy, but I assure you, you are always in my heart! 


 

Friends are like the walls of a house. Sometimes they hold you up, sometimes you lean on them. But sometimes, it's enough to know they're just standing by.



If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them; I'd be at the bottom to catch them. 
 


One tree can start a forest, one smile can start a friendship.
One touch can show you care, one friend can make
life worth living for.
 

 

A smile makes us look younger... while friends make us feel stronger...
and they make us enjoy life. 


 

"Ahmad Fuad Ahmad" <fuad9_99@yahoo.com>