May 8th, 2010

Vatican Humor





Vatican Humor Just For Laughs



 
 
 
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb. 
  
 'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?' 
  
 'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican   when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today..' 
  
 'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.. 
  
 'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile. 
  
 Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms.. (Remember, the Pope is German..) 
  
 'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. 
  
 'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver. 
  
 The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. 
  
 'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher. 
  
 The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph. 
  
 'So bust him,' says the Chief. 
  
 'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop. 
  
 The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!' 
  
 'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence. 
  
 The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?' 
 Cop: 'Bigger.' 
  
 Chief: ' A senator?' 
 Cop: 'Bigger.'   
  
 Chief: 'The Prime Minister?' 
 Cop: 'Bigger.' 
  
 'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?' 
  
 Cop: 'I think it's God!' 
  
 The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?' 
  
 Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!' 
Give me a sense of humor, Lord, 
 Give me the grace to see a joke, 
 To get some humour out of life
And pass  it on to other folk.

 
 via sharifah khatijah 
 

Only In Malaya .... Malaysian Funny Continued



Only in Malaya .. the sequel ..............

 The Village of Sharks .. or Jowos ... but confirmed PATI
 
Relaxing .. day-dreaming .. what ever it is he's really 'lepaking' .. so now those who 'lepak' can be called 'HIM' 
 Biking ... 'Moroning'  .. 'Rempiting' .. 'easy riding' ..ciiiitt this is suiciding ...
(mind my Inggeris !)
 Prevention is better than being caught  .....

Name the place ... clue HPP ....  
 So who's the law ................. !
 Oh Malaya ................... !
 
This is the real 'PENGUIN' of Batman the sequel  ................. 
 Once a 'dog' always a 'DOG' .................
 
Safety .... ? aaah this is my place ................... 
 This is what what we called ' he who preached ... ' ,
supplement after a tough routine ... cheers !


The Bank of Obama 

 
via "nikman

Do you pass the grumpy test ?


Do you pass the grumpy test?
If at least one of these pictures does not make you smile, then you are grumpy and need to go to see the 'school of jokes or NERDS ' .....




 The Kitties Medusa .....
 
Cute Kitty or shy kitty ? 
 Remember Hitler ... I think this what they called 'the butt's of Hitler "
 Remembering 'The Land of The Giants' TV sequel
 Snuggling ...
 Cat In .. Mug !
 In return ...
 Iraqi War mascot .. to beat the American study this 'little mammal' ...
 Singing the anthem ....
 Loving the 'mouse'

Licker ... to those who loves to lick .. please do learn from him ..

 

How will you know if your husband is gay!?

Hey before I start this very broad and sensitive topic about homosexuality, I would just like to let you know that I have nothing against gay or anything of its kind.

My views about Homosexuality

Homosexual, whether gay or lesbian is nothing new to me. In this world that I am living there were a lot of them. I can say it is not as taboo as before. They are now more accepted by the public. The only question right now is how their family coped up with that especially to the young homosexuals who have just discovered their real selves. Some families have embraced their new personality easily but most are having a hard time particularly the fathers who are expecting something big from their “unico hijo” or “unico hija”. But other than the roaring father of a gay or lesbian child which is a very common scenario, a wife of a confused husband is also another story to tell.

How will you know if he’s gay?

Well you wouldn’t come up to this question if you don’t see something wrong with him. Now each item below wouldn’t be a guarantee that he’s gay, but put them all together then more or less he is. What is best is for you to ask him directly. Clear all your doubts and tell him the reasons why you have asked him that.

Being vain - You’ve noticed lately that he’s been very conscious of his looks. He’ll look not just once, twice or thrice in your life size mirror. He’ll spray on that perfume gazillion times. Wait! I knew a lot of straight men who are vain, but if you’ve noticed this momentous transformation he’d probably want to look good for someone else, maybe female or male. You’ll know if it’s you he wants to impress.

Hate gay people – He’d seen one and say something that is not so nice. He can’t stand being on the same room with a gay person. He’s afraid that he’ll get noticed. You know the saying, you will know one if you sees one.

New found male buddy – He receives frequent quick calls from his new male friend. As if this new guy is checking on your guys business every second. He’d go out at night for a drink with this guy or he’ll say with a group of new male friends. You’ll ask him regarding this and he’ll say that this guy is his best friend. Hey you’ve just met this guy and now you’ll tell me that he is your best friend.

Lack of interest on you – He’ll turn you down whenever you want to make love with him. He’ll often sleep on the other side of the bed turning away from you. And when he says yes, he’ll have the strangest new way of doing it, and you wonder where on earth he had learned that.

Private internet habit – You can’t disturb him when he’s roaming the net. Worst he doesn’t want you to see what he is doing. If ever you’re the detective type, you’ll find out he’s looking to some LGBT porn or he has kept some LGBT magazines.

Exaggerating his manliness – He doesn’t want to be teased as gay. He doesn’t want to play gay in any themed party, whether in your family reunion or in his company event even if the others will do it too. He is uncomfortable when the topic is about his masculinity.


What will you do if he admits that he is gay?

So what now? You might hate him for fooling you; you might hate yourself for being fooled. You might get embarrassed by this revelation and think of what your family will say about this, what your friends will think of you, how you can protect your children with this dilemma. Of course these thoughts will be rolling your head but you won’t fix anything by worrying these things much. You have to talk it over.

Ask why he had to hide it to you. If he says because he doesn’t want to loose you; then ask why. Is it because he loves you too and he’s afraid that you might leave him or he just uses you to protect his image. If he says he loves you then there’s hope. You can ask him to give up all his sinful acts and you can still live together, well that is if you still want him after what had happened, but hey if you really love the guy and the damaged is repairable then why not.

But then if he is not happy with you and you are not so happy as well, I suggest you go separate ways. Maybe both of you can find somebody else to love and you can both be happy in the end.

Is there really hope that a homosexual be transformed?

Yes there is hope, I have seen some and had been very happy with their chosen path. It is in ones willingness to change that will make the process a success. The support of his family and friends especially his wife in this case is very important.


Source : How will you know if your husband is gay?