kheru2006 (kheru2006) wrote,

Marriages are not made in heaven

I REFER to “60.4% men unmarried” (The Star, May 9) which said “about 2.5 million Malaysians aged 25 and above are unmarried”, and “many cite financial problems as a reason”. And there could also be other reasons.

Is this not worrying? Baffling too, to me.

Marriage is a serious matter and if you aren’t ready, do not take the plunge. You can be in much trouble if you do. Many today are, and are seeking ways out. Do not be one of them.

A marriage needs full commitment. Some aren’t ready to commit as yet so they delay marriage. Some sadly do not marry at all.

Marriages must be sustained and improved upon. Society today acknowledges that keeping a marriage going requires skills that include communication, understanding, appreciating and accommodating different personalities, and understanding the process of marriage itself.

Contrary to the assumption that everything will naturally come together in a relationship, marriage takes work. It also needs support and advice from others.

Some education/information, advice, before a wedding can highlight the strengths, weaknesses and uniqueness of each party, helping them to better understand their partner and their relationship.

Successful marriages are not “perfect” or “made in heaven”, but rather well managed. They accept the realities of day-to-day life, and work within them.

And there seems to be a phenomenon today that those who are in a marriage want out, and those who are out want in. What a paradox!

And take this from me, loving someone forever is an ideal, and most of the time not practical.

In today’s urban city lifestyle, people change, lifestyles change, habits change. You change your handphone, your diet, even your career paths, let alone what attracts you.

And some tell me that we need a different kind of boyfriend/girlfriend in the different stages of our lives, in rough age segments, as below:

> At age 16-22 we need a playmate; guys need a gal that he can chase, gals need guys that chase.

> At 23-29 we need a playmate but also someone to talk to about the new work life, new friends and new environment.

> At 30-35 we need someone who knows what he/she wants in life, companionship, career, lifestyle, and etc.

Maybe our match making agencies should get more active, and get our eligible bachelors to take the plunge, as marriage is the right thing for man.


The STAR Home News Opinion Monday 14 May, 2012

Tags: life, marriage

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